How not to complain!
A simple mistake of chronic complainers is to self-identify with the negative thoughts running through their minds. Such a person might admit, “I know I’m responsible for my thoughts and action, but I don’t know how to stop myself from thinking negatively so often.” That seems like a step in the right direction, and to a certain degree it is, but it’s also a big trap. It’s good to take responsibility for your thoughts, but just taking responsibility without any effort to change is not going to help you. You will just end up with accepting "admitting and not doing anything thought".
A better statement might be, “I recognize these negative thoughts going through my mind. But those thoughts are not me. As I raise my awareness, I can replace those thoughts with positive alternatives.” You have the power to recondition your thoughts, but the trick is to keep your consciousness out of the quagmire of the blame. Realize that while these thoughts are flowing through your mind, they are not you. You are the conscious conduit through which they flow.
Negative thoughts can be addictive but you can actually learn to embrace the negative thoughts running through your head and thereby transcend them. Allow them to be, but don’t identify with them because those thoughts are not you. Begin to interact with them like an observer. It’s been said that the mind is like a hyperactive monkey. The more you fight with the monkey, the more hyper it becomes. So instead just relax and observe the monkey until it wears itself out.
Recognize also that this is the very reason you’re here, living out your current life as a human being. Your reason for being here is to develop your consciousness. If you’re mired in negativity, your job is to develop your consciousness to the point where you can learn to stay focused on what you want, to create positively instead of destructively. If you don’t like what you’re experiencing, that’s because your skill at conscious creation remains underdeveloped. That’s not a problem though because you’re here to develop it. You’re experiencing exactly what you’re supposed to be experiencing so you can learn.
The real solution to complaining is responsibility it's different than just “admitting”. You must say to the universe (and mean it), “I want to accept more responsibility for everything in my experience.”
My definition of being responsible
- If I want something, I should not make excuses or just work on something simpler to trick my brain to believe that I am being productive (my sister)
- If I don’t like my current environment, I should stand up and change it
- If I’m unhappy, it’s because I’m creating it
- If there’s a problem in the world that bothers me, I’m responsible for fixing it
- If someone is in need, I’m responsible for helping them
On the other side, it will also help you by taking responsibility for all the good in your life. The good stuff didn’t just happen to you. You created it. You deserve it. Well done!
Pat yourself on the back for what you like, but don’t feel you must pretend to enjoy what you clearly don’t like. But do accept responsibility for all of it… to the extent, you’re ready to do so.
Complaining is the denial of responsibility and blame is just another way of excusing yourself from being responsible. But this denial still wields its own creative power. Conscious creation is indeed an awesome responsibility. But in my opinion, it’s the best part of being human. There’s just no substitute for creating a life of joy, even if it requires taking responsibility for all the unwanted junk you’ve manifested up to this point.
When you catch yourself complaining, stop and ask yourself if you want to continue to deny responsibility for your reality or to allow a bit more responsibility back onto your plate. Maybe you’re ready to assume more responsibility, and maybe you aren’t, but do your best to make that decision consciously. Do you want sympathy for creating what you don’t want, or do you want congratulations on creating what you do want?